exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
