I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
