You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
