so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
