i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
