Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
