remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
