Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
