your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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