pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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