I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
