i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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