i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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