How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I need moral support for this bender
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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