before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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