So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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