If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Are we still banned from the library?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
