i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
