i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
