Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
