So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
