Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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