Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
