some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Randomize
