I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
