i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
