This girl is more easily done than said...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
