remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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