ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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