At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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