How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
