I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
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