are you still at the devil's house?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
