My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
