help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
