Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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