I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
