I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
