ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
