from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
