if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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