paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
