Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I think i got beer on your cat.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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