tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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