So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
