i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
