Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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