I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
