whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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