i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
